Friday, February 16, 2007

death by alphabet

A few days ago my wife left to go back to Utah for a wedding, leaving me to get time off work and watch the kids until she gets back. I was looking forward to a break from work, and rediscovered a different type of work, namely, being with my 3 children 24/7. So, a couple of nights ago, as I realized that I was facing 3 children strung out on Valentine's candies, I pulled out the paints, pencils, paper and anything else art-related and told them, "WERE DOING ART." I then tried to think of a project that would last them until far into the night. AN ALPHABET GRID! I told them to draw 26 squares and draw a picture in each one of them for every letter of the alphabet. I drew along too, hoping to make it a "family moment." My two year old lasted about 10 minutes, and about 30 papers later, he went off to entertain himself by spilling punch in various patterns on my kitchen floor. My second oldest lasted until the letter "o", I was impressed. My oldest lasted until "M" and went off looking for munchies.
I kept plugging along, however, and after getting them all to bed, I kept working on the various little sketches. I painted it today because I couldn't stand it being unfinished. It looks kinda "kidsy" and "cartoony," but I had fun working on it. I'm posting a list just in case you need help understanding my letters:
A. Apple Core
B. Beach Ball
C. Circus Tent
D. Dime
E. Envelope
F. Film
G. Googol
H. Hell
I. Indian
J. Jar
K. Knife
L. Lips
M. Molar
N. Noose
O. Octopus
P. Pipe
Q. Queen
R. Rabbit Ears
S. Sock
T. Track
U. Udder
V. Vial
W. Watermelon
X. X-Ray
Y. Yolk
Z. Zipper

Finally, I was tagged by MRANA today. She wanted me to list 6 things about me that are weird.

Here's my list:
1. I keep a box of desk supplies (inexpensive stuff like post-its, pens, index cards, etc.) tucked safely away in my closet and don't let anyone get into it. These things were my dad's (he was a schoolteacher), and I use that box to remember him.
2. Along the same lines as #1, I have a ton of books that I got when Dad died. They are the bane of my wife's existence because they fill up my house. Some of the stuff I know that I'll never read, but I'll never get rid of them because they were his.
3. I hate onions, not just dislike, I despise them. They are devil-fruit and should be destroyed. When I was young my mom used chop them up small in an effort to sneak them into my food. She would say, "you can't even taste them," and I would quickly retort, "If you can't taste them, why put them in?" Onions are poo. It saddens me that so many burgers, lasagna's, pizza's and other dandy treats have been adulterated by such things as onions. Shame!
4. I also hate cats. I remember when I was little, very little, thinking that a cat-but looked like a pencil sharpener. When I get rich, I think I'll design a pencil sharpener that looks like a cat in severe pain, eyes bulging out.....I'll stop there before I get junk mail from P.E.T.A.
5. Speaking of P.E.T.A... There is always room for another animal in my house, right next to the mashed potatos. I love all animals, especially when slow cooked over a fire to perfection.
6. I like to say the word "Hawaii" when I belch.

I don't know who to pick to carry on this "tagging" tradition. I'll be searching the next little while, and will post their names later.


  1. Funny and funnier! Really love your grid.

  2. Great grid. I've only done one grid so far but this is wonderful idea. Thanks.

  3. A great grid...the beginnings of an abc book...loved the UDDER...speaking of which our kindergartners have to be confused...they watched a movie with a bull with an UDDER...they would love a book of these....

    And save your dads fav books and clean up for your clean sweep...always makes it easier for me to clean up the all the jillion books my kids have given me...

  4. Great grid! Very cute ... :)
    I knew you'd come through with weird stuff. I have to say that my brother died when his apartment building collapsed on him and his wife so we only had a few pieces left of theirs to keep (that flew out of their windows) which we are saving for when their daughter gets a bit older, so I completely understand your wanting to hang on to your dad's stuff. I love onions, sorry!

  5. Great idea - love the ABC grid.

  6. oooh...probably more than we needed to know, there, thanks to your 6 odd things!!!!;O)

    Your grid is wonderful! Clever boy!

  7. Wonderful grid - I think your kids are incredibly lucky to have such a talented father.

  8. Awesome grid- it had me chuckling. I really like your writing style & sense of humor.

  9. What a great idea!

  10. your grid is great. i just dicovered your blog and your flickr pics. amazing stuff!
    i´m discovering new interesting blogs every day. i need more time!!

  11. An alphabet grid with the kids -- great idea! Hilarious as always, too! :-D

  12. I love this idea! I'm gunna try to do it! Yours looks fantastic!

  13. Very nice...
    I will never understand the onion thing though.
    How can anything that heavenly come from Satan?

  14. An alphabet grid is a fab idea - I might just have to pinch it! I'm finding that grids are one of the few ways I can fit a bit of sketching into a day dominated by the demands of a 7-month-old daughter! :-) This is my first visit to your blog - your drawings are excellent.

  15. Your drawings are great. The death by alphabet grid really tickled my funny bone.