Sticking Your Neck Out

A few weeks ago I painted a turtle while exploring some of the fears and challenges that I am facing in my life. It was therapeutic, and helpful as I pondered the various triggers that can cause someone to want to just hide “inside the shell” or face the challenge head on.
Today, I returned to the turtle theme for a friend that I have at work.  A few weeks ago he found out that his wife has stage 3 breast cancer.  Without a doubt, they have been faced with the very real choice that comes with all the uncertainty of such a diagnosis.  Do they hide?  Do they run?  Do they revert to what is familiar? Or, do they move forward, trusting in the love that they have for each other and the growth that will happen during the journey?
I painted this little one for them, another reminder that we can put our necks out of the comfortable shell, we can trust that even thought the future looks uncertain and scary, that there will be growth as we move forward, even if slowly.

Fear

These past few months I have been dealing with some circumstances in my life which have forced me to face things that bring fear, uncertainty, even panic.  In many ways I feel like the turtle that I painted this weekend.  We can often only see all of the things that potentially could go wrong, and favor shrinking into our shell, where we feel safe, unexposed, warm.  Yet, if we live inside of the shell all of the time, we miss the ability to move forward, even if slowly.  While I painted this, I kept thinking of a great quote that I heard the other day penned by Rudyard Kipling.  He said: "Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears."

Generally, I paint envelopes for others.  I guess this one was an envelope to self.

The other thing I learned while painting this is the fact that turtle legs look amazingly like two giant pine cones.

This is done entirely in Gouache.

Examining fear...

I've been having a hard time sleeping lately. It seems that the troubles that weigh on me during the day seep into my sleep and transform themselves into monsters. Last night I awoke screaming a bit. My wife had to calm me down, it was embarrasing and frightening all wrapped up in one.

While at lunch today, I thought I would explore some of the images in the sketchpad...once again, the pen becomes the therapist.